My super positive – inspiring – happy go lucky post

I want to write a super positive – inspiring – happy go lucky post but I just can’t. Because it’s not how I feel. And maybe it’s also because I am not aforementioned things – at all. Not because I haven’t tried – because I have.

I have tried “positive thinking”, I have tried “looking at the bright side of life”, I have tried it all. But to no avail.

I am now 28 years old and I can fairly (and very truthfully) say that I can’t remember the last time that I was happy, which makes me wonder – was I ever even happy? Even a little bit? After a lot of soul searching – oh so very much – I can honestly say that I have never been happy. I have never been a happy person either – I have never had a reason to be happy.

Have I felt moments of happiness? Or what I perceived as happiness? Sure I have. But they were just that, they were “moments”. Moments pass – they are not permanent.

My dogs make me happy – dogs in general make me happy. Petting them, looking at them, hanging out with them – it cheers me up. But when the moment passes I go back to feeling like my old regular unhappy self.

People often say “How can you say that you’re not happy?! I have seen you smile before!” Sorry to burst your bubble – but even (chronically) depressed people can smile. Just because I am incredibly miserable doesn’t mean that I can’t laugh when I hear/see something funny. It doesn’t mean that I can’t smile whenever my dogs look at me with their beautiful puppy dog eyes. It doesn’t mean that I can’t appreciate a good joke.

A smile is just a smile. A smile can be faked even – and I know all about it, because I have been faking it for over 20+ years.

I have lost my train of thought – welcome to my brain – okay I really can’t remember where I was heading with this.

How do you even know if you’re really – truly and completely – happy? Or are all of you happy ass folks just faking it too?

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PSA Part I.

This goes out to all the (sleezy) men out there that have daughter(s).

Imagine your little girl growing up into a beautiful (young) woman that has her entire life ahead of her. Can you picture it? Good.

Now imagine some douchebag of a guy treating her without respect and seeing her as nothing more than a piece of meat. Imagine your beautiful daughter getting hit up with messages like “Hey babe, I’m hella horny. Let’s fuck”. She may be all grown up but she’s still your little girl. You’d want to beat the guy up, wouldn’t you? Admit it.

You would be furious and you would want to bash his face in for treating your daughter like that.

If that pisses you off so much then how can you treat the women around you the same way??

Exactly.

So the next time that you feel the urge to disrespect a woman like that and treat her like an object and a piece of meat, think about some douchebag doing the same thing to your little girl.

Sincerely yours,

I am not an object, I am a human being.