Wide awake

So I drew something. I made it for him, for his birthday. No idea why, it’s not like it will make him suddenly fall in love with me, lol. Still, makes me wonder why I went through the trouble. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll find out. Why do I do anything when it comes to him?

He’s a Pisces, they go incredibly well with Scorpio’s. If only he’d listen, haha.

Didn’t turn out exactly how I wanted it but hey, it’s something.

I can just hope that he’ll like it.

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Damaged

“Disorder”. They make it sound like you’re a sodamachine that’s out of order.

“Disorder”. People hear that word and they immediately assume the worst. Assume that you’re a psychopath.

“Disorder”. It makes it sound like you’re broken. Not perfect. Not right.

Ho ho ho and a bottle of beer

3 hours into Christmas earlier today and my family was already getting on my nerves.

Is it some kind of unwritten rule that family drama must ensue during holidays??!

Tomorrow my cousin is coming over to Granny’s house to cook and he’s basically invited like 20 freaking people. I have no desire whatsoever to go and be social and shit, let alone with 20+ people. Yuck. Family members no less. Christmas mostly feels like an obligation, to be honest. And this is why I informed everyone that I would not be joining the “fun”. Then my aunt decided to yell at me. She literally told me “It’s Christmas. Even if you don’t like each other, you just pretend. At least until Christmas is over”. Yeah, ah.. Nah? Nothing against my family (mostly?) but the last thing I need is to PRETEND to like each other and stand there and be asked the following questions by family members that I haven’t seen in years:

-“You looking fat oh. You pregnant?”
-“Have you gained weight?”

Or the very well known:

-“Why you spoiling yourself like that oh? Why you putting all those tattoos on your body like that oh!? You used to be such a fine girl!”

And the ones I truly hate:

-“How’s your mom?”
Me: “I wouldn’t know. Don’t care”.
-“OH, what you mean you don’t know? She your mother!!”
Me “Nah.. Not really…”
-“No, no, no Conchita, you can’t behave like that oh! Your mother is your mother”..

That is usually the point where I’d grab the nearest wine bottle and just chug the entire thing.

So yeah… My bed, a cold beer and I shall be having a lovely 2nd Christmas day tomorrow!

Not gonna be forced to play nice and act social all day ๐Ÿ‘

#GrinchMode

My clock just doesn’t tick….

This morning something funny happened, I just had to share it with you guys.

Early morning breakfast conversation:

Me: “Yeah, I don’t ever want to have kids”.

Aunt: “WHAT?! But why not?”

Me: “Because I don’t want to”.

Aunt: “But there is nothing wrong with your eggs! You can have children! At least have 1 and be done with it”.

Me: “I do not WANT to have kids!!!!!!”

Aunt: “But how is that possible?!”

Me: “Sigh, we have this conversation at least 4 times a year and every time it’s like your brain can’t accept what I am saying, or rather, won’t accept what I am saying”.

Aunt: “You are a woman! You have to have kids!!!”

Me: “What law states that I have to have kids because I am a woman??”

Aunt: “It is just the way it is!!! You are a woman and that is your job and purpose in life! To have children!!”

My 11 year old sister (that I take care of full time!!): “So I won’t be an aunt?”

Me: “Sure you will! To my 30 dogs!”

Aunt: “M, she is going to have children, even if I have to force her!!”

Me: “Oh, so you’re going to force me ah? I’d like to see you try, last time I checked it was still MY life and MY womb”.

Aunt: “God and I will make you! You just wait and see”.

Me: “Here, have some more bacon. It’s really healthy. Have loads!”

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜’

This morning I was apparently transported back to the 1950’s!! Lol. The nerve of some people.

Yes, I am indeed a woman. No, I am not obligated to have children.

Yes, it is and always will be MY choice.
No, it will never be anyone’s else’s choice.

Yes, I like children.
No, I do not wish to have any of my own.

Happiness (in life) does not depend on whether or not I pass a kid through my lady parts.

My aunt is not the first to go off on me like that because of my decision not to have kids. People like her need to mind their own business and accept that it’s my decision and not theirs.

My all time favorite has always been “Oh you don’t know what you are talking about. You’re still young, you will change your mind”. That shit cracks me up!!

I am 25 years old, I think that I am capable of making my own decisions. I made up my mind about not having kids when I was in my teens for fucks sake.

#TeamNoKids #life #MyBodyMyChoice #LeaveMyWombAlone

Ho ho ho..

It’s December. This means that I am constantly being bombarded by Christmas and all that comes with it.

This annoys me, it annoys me a lot. In fact, it aggravates me quite a bit. Everywhere I go I am confronted with jolly people and Christmas decorations everywhere. And I hate it. I absolutely hate it. All it does is remind me of what I don’t have and of how utterly miserable I am.

I am trying, I am genuinely trying to muster up even the slightest interest for the holidays, but I can’t. It’s like my brain just can’t do it. I go through this every year, over and over again, but I never succeed.

A big part of me truly can’t be bothered with the whole Christmas thing, even if I wasn’t broke as fuck, I feel like I can’t be fucked to go through all of the trouble. Decorate the house, put up a tree, make Christmas dinner, spend all day cooking and cleaning, and for what? So I can take it all down come January 6th? Yeah, I’m good.

And at the same time there is another part of me that really wants that awesome Christmas that you see in the movies and on television. That’s when your brain reminds you that this is life and not a movie.

So excuse me while me and my extremely fantastic mood scurry on along and hide under the blankets until spring.

Holla at me when the flowers are in bloom again…

Oink oink

A lot of people I know like to refer to the police as “pigs”. They should refer to men as pigs, because that’s what the majority of them are pigs.ย Please note how I did not say that ALL men are pigs, because we all know there is going to be at least 1 man out there that is gonna get butthurt over it.ย 

Here is an example of a conversation that I had earlier today with this guy online…

Dude: “How are you?”
Me: “I’m feeling hella crappy. Miserable”
Dude: “I’ve got the cure for that!”
Me: “And that is?”
Dude: “It’s in my pants”
Me: “Sigh. Just go away. Fuck off”

Dude: “Come on! My big dick will make you feel better!”

Me: *blocks*

I love it how men seem to think that sex can cure anything that ails you.

โ€ช#โ€Žfuckingretardsโ€ฌ

This is nothing, this is tame, I’ve had worse conversations before. Two days ago I went out with this guy that been on my case to go out with him. Out of sheer boredom (read: avoiding my schoolwork) I decided to meet up with him. Everything was going good and then he decided to let the crazy out.

Thomas: “Did you know that one of Obama’s Secret Service Agents is an alien!? I saw the guy on YouTube!”

Me: ” Oh really? Okay…”

Thomas: “Yeah man, aliens exist! Haven’t you ever wondered why we don’t have an amusement park on the moon?! The system is controlling us! The government is telling lies just to control us! All the history that we were taught in school is all fake!!”

Me: “I have a headache, could you please take me home now?”

The second I got home I blocked him everywhere. I haven’t even posted all that he said, and he said a lot! All that was missing was a tinfoil hat.

They say that there are “plenty fish in the sea”, what they failed to mention was that all the fish are fucking creepers-psychos-stalkers-idiots-cray cray. I’ve often wondered if I have an invisible sign on my forehead that says “Crazy? Creepy? (emotional) issues? Mommy issues? Immature? Come right over!”. In my 25 years on this earth I have yet to attract a normal (I know, what’s normal?) guy. Someone please remove this invisible sign from my forehead. Thanks!

Suffice it to say that I’ve accepted my fate a long time ago. The way I see it my life can only go 1 of 2 ways:

1. Become a nun

2. They’ll find my body 4 weeks later, with my 30 dogs by my side

So yeah, the dating pool: filled with mutated fish!