And the monster won….
After months of fighting it tooth and nail I caved in and I self harmed.
Just giving in was easier than constantly fighting it.
It goes without saying that I do NOT encourage self harm.
The Story of A Beautiful Disaster
Follow me into the abyss…
The Story of A Beautiful Disaster 
We are at war with our demons.
There are battles, and so far, you have won many of them. You can celebrate those you have won – make a note of them at least – so you have something to counter the guilt with when you lose.
Because sometimes, you do lose. When that happens, you do damage control, limit the casualties as much as possible, and retreat a little in order to rest and maybe think of a new strategy, or find new allies, or just until you can pep talk yourself into facing your next battle.
Don’t surrender. It’s only one battle lost. You are allowed to rest, and to feel discouraged. But know that one day you will win the war against your demons, and the resulting peace will be worth it.