Changes

Every few weeks it hits me that I am getting older and then I completely freak out and over analyze EVERYTHING (in my life). I’m also somehow changing/evolving, so I’ve noticed. And it’s kinda freaking me out a bit? Lol. Mostly because I don’t know what to make of it/do about it.

I find myself wanting and yearning for certain things. Different things. Things that I never thought I would want or even need. And again, I don’t know what to do with these feelings. They seem to be consuming me at times and that in turn confuses me even more.

I feel like I need to be working on these things now, in order to have it X amount of years from now. Having a great relationship, being married and everything else that I seem to be wanting now, doesn’t happen over night. So I suddenly feel “rushed” somehow. And mind you, I’m “only” almost 24. As many people around me keep saying “you have plenty of time”. But it doesn’t feel that way for me. It feels like I’m running out of time already. Because to achieve all these things, it takes TIME. If only it did indeed happen overnight.

So I guess what I’m saying is that I’m freaking out over the fact that I am getting older and seem to be changing, wanting different things. Even though I realize that this is considered to be pretty normal…

And yet here I am, over analyzing and freaking out…

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