I don’t want you. Give me my fairy tale please. I want singing birds that help you do the laundry. I want candle sticks with French accents. I want Jamaican crabs doing the limbo. I want flying magic carpets that will take me around the world. I want to lose my glass slipper at a ball. I want a prince to wake me up from my eternal slumber with a single kiss. I want to throw my hair out of my high tower, so my prince can climb up it and rescue me.
I want my fairy tale, dammit! So reality, you can kiss my beautiful big brown ass.