I don’t know what to say, I don’t know where to start. I just know that I’m not doing well, not at all.

After I had dinner with my friends downstairs I came home, hopped into bed and watched a few of my series. As I finished watching “mom” I just felt this “pang”, it just hit me like that. It was like a big hammer of absolute depression/angst/desperation hit me. Next thing you know, I feel like utter shit and I was crying.

I have a million things to say and yet at the same time I truly do not know where to start. I feel like I have no one to talk to, despite having 2 shrinks and seeing them weekly. I just don’t KNOW anymore. I feel so damn CONFUSED.

I honestly just want to sleep. Just sleep forever and feel nothing. I know that may sound dramatic but it’s truly how I feel now and how I’ve felt for 2 months now.

I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up before completely breaking down.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I feel so crappy that I have to go puke and then cry myself to sleep. Excuse my dramatic flair.